For the past 6 months or so Nathaniel and I have been praying that God might bless us with another child. Every day I pray this prayer. Lately, however, I feel almost wrong about it and my mind is thinking "if I desire it, He will grant it". As if the Almighty God is my personal genie! This clicked with me today after reading a sermon by John Macarthur (you will soon learn he is one of my favs).
"How are we to pray? We just learned. How about this? “Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” It’s not about me; it’s about You. It’s not about what I want; it’s about what You want. It’s not about what elevates me; it’s what elevates You. It’s not about what aggrandizes me; it’s what aggrandizes You."
I had the blessing of praying with most of the ladies at church a few weeks back. We all went around in a circle and gave our requests. Mine was, again, that God would bless us with a baby. After all of the requests were made Dana, my Pastor's wife, said that we would pray for the person to our right. The most amazing woman, Amber, sat to my left and was the one to pray for me. She had struggled with infertility for 23 years I believe and that is who God had placed in position to pray for a baby for me. How many times had she prayed for a child for herself? How many months of "no" being the answer had she received. And there she was, having to pray for a child for ME...a woman who has already been blessed with 2 perfect children! My heart was overwhelmed. I felt really selfish almost for my prayer request. But our God is good and perfect. She prayed a beautiful prayer for me and not only for a child but also for our current children and family that we would be pleasing to God. Her maturity and faith and love just blew me away and I will always be grateful for her example.
So here I am, Lord, Your will be done. Not mine. I will praise you with a "yes" and I will praise you with a "no". You are SO worthy of all praise. Let me not focus on me but focus on You.